dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
