yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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