Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
