I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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