I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
