my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
