last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize