butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I AM VODKA MAN
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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