i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
