You just made me feel so damn special
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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