i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
