yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
