I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
