You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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