How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
