so explain again why im purple
no
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
