i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
