i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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