Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize