Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize