...so i touched it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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