was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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