Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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