Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
