There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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