some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
