Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
