i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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