he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
is it fun? or sober?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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