so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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