and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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