You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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