The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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