my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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