6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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