It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
