So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
