Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
