I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize