Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
