the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
