just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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