brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
