Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
