I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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