I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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