If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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