he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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