dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize