she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
