when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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