We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
