is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize