i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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