3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
