You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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