we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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