What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
