Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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