My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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