You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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