if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
