I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize