I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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