I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize