I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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