She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
