I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
