did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
