the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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