Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
