Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
